My favourite things to listen to at work…

I’ve been working on my PhD for the last four years and work in the lab, in the office and at home. I now very much have a list of favourite things I like to listen to at each location that I can keep listening to over and over again. I find them super helpful for getting me into ‘work mode’ so thought I’d share them just in case you could do with some inspiration too!

In the lab

Local radio is one of the first things I reach for, especially when I’m just popping into the lab for a short period, but if I’m settling in for a few hours of lab work I tend to reach for a podcast or an audiobook. There are five that spring to mind immediately as my ‘go to’ listens.

Serial

There are currently three seasons of serial. Sarah Koenig is a reporter who truly dissects the stories she follows and presents in serial. The first season focuses on the murder of Hae Min Lee in Baltimore, Maryland, the second revolves around the American prisoner/deserter/traitor Bergdahl whose time in Afghanistan is a mystery, and the third season is a deep dive into the goings on of an American courthouse. A similar and also very enjoyable podcast with much shorter stories is This American Life.

Atomic Hobo

Atomic Hobo is a nuclear war podcast by Julie McDowall. Pretty much each episode can be listened to in isolation but I would perhaps proceed with caution if you’re feeling particularly sensitive or anxious about nuclear engagement! She is a historian who researches different countries preparedness for nuclear war, historical recovery plans and she reviews different nuclear war films like Threads, When the Wind Blows and The War Game. She will blow your mind!

Lore

The tagline of this podcast is ‘Because sometimes the truth is more frightening than fiction‘. Each episode tells a dark historical tale (in many cases history merges with folklore). They’re from all corners of the globe and lots of different periods of history. They tell the stories of vampires, witches and murderers. They’re totally engaging and each episode leaves you wanting more. This podcast was also turned into a tv series which can be found on Amazon Prime…I think.

Harry Potter

Does this need an introduction? I know the story so well at this point that I don’t need to focus on the audiobook and I can concentrate on what I’m doing. Harry Potter is easy, calming and comforting. Perfect for lab work.

Under Milk Wood

Under Milk Wood by Dylan Thomas was a radio drama made for the BBC. I don’t know much about poetry but I think the whole drama is an extended poem telling the story of a small Welsh town called Llareggub (which reads ‘Bugger all’ backwards). My favourite version is the one told by Richard Burton. His accent is so pleasing to me. I’ve listened to it a million times and I still hear and understand something new each time.

In the office

There are three sci-fi movie/series soundtracks I listen to almost on repeat in the office. Those are the soundtracks of Dune, The Expanse and The Mandalorian. If you haven’t seen any of these and enjoy a bit of science fiction then I fully recommend. This is perfect ambient music to focus to and it’s the kind of music you can jump in and out of when folk want to chat and you need to remove your headphones.

At home

Sometimes I work in silence, but mostly I like to have something playing in the background. For this I need something that makes noise, but not something that I have to concentrate on or distracts me. For me, watching people play video games is the perfect non-distracting and yet comforting noise.

Animal Crossing New Horizons

Animal Crossing New Horizons is a real comfort game for me and I found a 16 hour long video on Youtube. I’ve already played this game and there is no real story so I can just let it play in the background and listen to the happy noises whilst staying fully focused on my work. If you haven’t played it then ACNH is a game in which you manage a paradise island. You decorate it, you invite villagers to live there, you collect fish, invertebrates and art to stock a museum and collect materials to build stuff. It’s great.

Stardew Valley

Stardew Valley is another happy comfort game for me and theres a guy called Sharky Games who has almost endless hours of gameplay. Similarly to ACNH I’ve played it, I know the story and I no longer need to concentrate on it. If you haven’t heard of it then you basically escape your corporate city life when you inherit your grandfathers farm in Stardew Valley. The game is essentially endless as you just bimble about fishing, doing chores for wizards and attending festivals. If you have any comfort games like this I fully recommend having them on in the background whilst you work from home!

No Mans Sky

No Mans Sky is a space odyssey! It’s epic…and like ACNH and Stardew Valley it’s basically endless. There are tonnes of planets to explore, bases you can build and intergalactic missions you can embark on. It’s a truly beautiful game and I personally love watching Survival Bob (he has good chat). He has hours and hours of gameplay on Youtube. I must have watched some of the same episodes several times and most of the time it doesn’t really matter because I’m never really fully concentrating on it.

Tomb Raider

I started watching Tomb Raider walkthroughs because I found Maegiee Leigh on TikTok. She’s a fairly new Youtuber but her videos are great and she seems lovely, which is something I really appreciate when I’m working away on my own for hours on end! I never managed to finish any of the Tomb Raider Games when I was a kid so I jumped at the opportunity to watch the bits I missed! For the games that Maegiee Leigh hasn’t played yet I search for walkthroughs without talking. I can watch the same game several times and still see new things.

These are all highly personal so let me know what your listening habits are whilst you’re working. Let me know if you listen to/watch any of these whilst you’re working too, if any of these spark your interest or what your favourites are.

Three techniques that help me to make decisions…

If you know me you’ll know that I’m coming to the end of my PhD, and with that I have some big decisions to make. I went into my PhD believing that I’d be fighting to rise through the ranks of academia, but it’s probably not a surprise to many of you that academia has made me change my mind! I have many thoughts about what I don’t want to do next but I still don’t know what I do want to do. I am of course trawling the internet, chatting to colleagues, seeing a careers advisor and keeping my mind open. But times like these always have me coming back to my three favourite ways to make decisions.

Write a ‘pros and cons’ list

I LOVE writing lists. Lists of things to do, lists of places I want to go, lists of places I’ve been, lists containing my innermost hopes and dreams…lists of pros and cons! For decisions as nebulous as the one I’m making now about which paths I might follow post-PhD, I’m focusing on lists of wants and dreams (life and career-wise) and lists of potential avenues or employers to investigate. As I start honing in on a couple of opportunities though you can bet that I’ll be writing out lists of pros and cons to sift through my thoughts and see the reality in ink. Sometimes I’ve wanted to want something so badly that I didn’t even realise that the cons far outweigh the pros.

Meditate

Now, I’m not super proficient at meditation so I’m not going to proclaim that I can easily clear my mind and sink into a personal pocket of zen, but I can do enough to achieve ‘some’ clarity! I’m sure it’s not just me that finds that when I have big decisions to make my mind gets BUSY. There are so many expectations to deal with (real or imagined!) and sometimes I find they start to smother the little voice that deep down knows what I really want. Meditation just gives me an uninterrupted moment with myself where that little voice has an opportunity to become a bit louder. I’m not saying that I have an epiphany every time I sit cross-legged on my yoga mat but I do always feel a little calmer and a little more centred afterwards.

Flip a coin

Flipping a coin only really works when you have a yes/no or one/the other decision to make. I won’t be using this tactic until I’ve majorly narrowed down my options or maybe even have an offer (or two) on the table. Basically you flip a coin and allow the coin to make your decision. That gut feeling you have when you see how the coin has landed tells you a lot about what you really think and feel about a decision. I like to think I know myself but my gut feeling over a coin toss has really surprised me in the past!

So, these are my top three ways to make a decision. I know they’re not groundbreaking but sometimes I think the simplest solutions are the best. Let me know what you think of them and if you have any others that you find helpful. Good luck if you’re in the middle of making any big decisions yourself.

The Lighthouses of Aberdeenshire

(I think I’ve visited all if not most of the lighthouses along the Aberdeenshire coastline, but please correct me if I’m wrong. I’m always up for visiting a new lighthouse!)

From North to South here are the five lighthouses of Aberdeenshire.

1. Kinnaird Head

Kinnaird Head has been through many changes. It originally started life as a castle, built for the Fraser family in the 1500s but in 1787 a huge lamp was placed on the roof of the castle making it the first lighthouse built by the Northern Lighthouse Board. By 1824 the famous Robert Stevenson had built a foundation, walls and a classic spiral staircase through the middle of the castle (whilst still preserving the original structure). Now, it’s an excellent museum. Although it’s no longer operational the light mechanism of the lighthouse is still in working order and it looks very much like it did when the last crew left. It’s a pretty remarkable place and even if maritime history isn’t normally your thing, it’s hard not to be wowed by the lives of the lighthouse keepers.

2. Rattray Head

Rattray head is iconic. If you’ve seen an Aberdeenshire lighthouse then it’s probably this one. Rattray head is normally surrounded by the cold North sea, but it can be reached at low tide (although this is something I haven’t been able to do yet). It’s iconic for a good reason as it’s incredibly photogenic, especially when it’s blowing a hooley and the waves are violently battering the lighthouse. Rattray head was built in 1895 and within 100 years in 1982 the last lighthouse keepers were withdrawn and the light became fully automatic.

Be forewarned that it’s not the easiest track to reach it so if your vehicle has low ground clearance or you’re rubbish at reversing you might want to re-think it!

3. Buchan Ness

Buchan Ness is a stunning red and white lighthouse situated in a lovely coastal town called Boddam just South of Peterhead. It was originally built in 1827 by Robert Stevenson and is now fully automated, sounding it’s last foghorn in 1988. The lighthouse keepers cottages are now privately owned and you can book a stay in them if you fancy a quirky holiday. I’ve never been myself but they have great reviews.

4. Girdle Ness

Girdle Ness is my local lighthouse, seeing as it’s located in the city of Aberdeen. It was built in 1833 by, you guessed it, Robert Stevenson after the wrecking of whaling ship that saw 43 out of 45 of it’s crew members die. The light is now fully automated since 1991. It overlooks the stunning Greyhope bay which is a great spot to look out for dolphins and watch the standby and supply vessels come in and out of harbour.

Just in front of the lighthouse is an old fog horn which no longer sounds. It’s known locally as the ‘Torry coo that doesn’t moo’ (Torry being the part of the city the lighthouse backs onto).

5. Todhead

I guess the first and most important thing to say about Todhead lighthouse is that it is now a private residence so it’s important to respect that. There is no access up the lighthouse, although you can walk around it and soak in the beautiful scenery along the coastline. There’s also a facebook page run by the current owners that’s kept fairly up to date. A light first shone through Todhead in 1897, it was automated in 1988 and then fully decommissioned in 2007.

For further information, particularly about how the lighthouses fared in the war, the Northern Lighthouse Board has a great website.

Negative Vibes Welcome

I have a complicated relationship with inspirational quotes and I’ve seen a few recently that have caused me a deep sigh! Permit me a few minutes of your time to explain, using four inspirational messages, why I embrace negative vibes!

(Disclaimer: Take anything I’ve written with a pinch of salt. I have literally zero mental health credentials so this is entirely an opinion piece!)

Positive Vibes Only

For me, ‘positive vibes only’ is the biggest offender! It is, for me, the greatest representation of toxic positivity that I can think of. Toxic positivity describes any inspirational quote or message that has the capacity to be false, dismissive, alienating or undermining. Quotes like this can create feelings of guilt and shame because quite simply they’re disconnected from the reality of experiencing life as a complex human being. You cannot possibly be positive ALL the time and if your social group is only available for ‘good vibes’ then maybe you need to ask yourself if they’re good friends or just fair-weather friends. Good friends are often there to support or hold space for you when you’re experiencing ‘negative vibes only’!

When I was a teenager, I (in short) suffered with depression. I was in a whole self-destructive spiral that meant I often lashed out at the people closest to me and I effectively cut my best friend Hannah out of my life. There was no way that Hannah could get close enough to me at that time to support me, but she waited in the wings until I started to recover. She’s still one of my closest friends and we’ve now known each other for about 20 years. I will forever be grateful that she didn’t just abandon me because of my negative vibes (and trust me, they were NEGATIVE)! Now, I’m not saying you need to go through something so drastic to figure out who your friends are, and I’m also not saying that you shouldn’t have boundaries within your friendships. Finding that balance between giving space to negative vibes, encouraging positivity or maybe taking a step back is a tricky one that you have to learn to navigate all by yourself!

Allowing yourself 5 minutes to be upset

This is exactly the Instagram advice that tipped me over the edge and led me to write this! This particular Instagram post stated that you should give yourself 5 minutes to feel your negative emotions if things in your life go wrong, but no more. Set yourself a timer, have a cry, then simply acknowledge that you can’t change the way things are and just stop feeling those feelings. Simple! Right?!

Of course, there are absolutely moments in your life where you can just shake something off and move on. There can be great peace in sometimes accepting that there are things that you cannot change. BUT, (and it’s a big but!) I also firmly believe that it can be incredibly important to feel whatever you need to feel and for however long you need to feel it for. Whatever you’re feeling is valid and you need to work through that. No one should be dictating to you how long you should feel it for…especially if that involves setting a literal timer!

A few years ago I developed a chronic illness and I did not give myself time to process that. Getting ME/CFS was a life changing event and to some extent forcing myself to think positively was a protective measure. But, I bottled up so many feelings. I was often called brave and folk would tell me how well I was handling everything, and don’t get me wrong, it is nice to hear (and of course, it is well meant). But, I think it also made me feel like I had to keep presenting a positive front and it stopped me being honest about how I really felt (even to myself). To cut a long story short about 4 years after I was diagnosed I was sat in therapy realising how much I needed to grieve because of what had happened. Maybe I’m being facetious because I’m sure that this advice wasn’t necessarily intended to help you brush off the big things in life, but I think it’s easy when you’re at your most vulnerable to be gaslit by these seemingly innocuous pieces of advice.

Positive thoughts create positive results

I’m going to keep this short but essentially, this one is important to me because I think it can be weaponised. When I developed ME/CFS I was suddenly introduced to this faction of people who would essentially say that I was sick because I was thinking too negatively. Basically, I would get better if I thought more positively. I cannot express just how damaging this is. It places the blame on the person who is suffering and of course it’s not just a phrase reserved for those who are ill. Positive thinking can be an awesome tool, but it cannot cure you or solve all your problems.

You only fail if you quit

Quitting does not necessarily mean that you have failed. Sometimes quitting is the hardest and bravest thing that you can do. When I quit the merchant navy I felt like such a failure. That crushing feeling of defeat contributed to a breakdown that saw me literally run away to the other side of the world to hide in the desert and then later, on a small pacific island (which is perhaps a story for another day). I was terrified, full of doubt and totally confused for about 6 months afterwards, but ultimately quitting was one of the best decisions I ever made. Sometimes quitting is the right choice and sometimes quitting is the wrong choice, that’s for you to decide! Either way you are not necessarily a failure.

Now, ‘positive thoughts create positive results’ and ‘you can only fail if you quit’ are the kind of Pinterest style inspirational quotes that might really serve a purpose at particular times in your life. They might really speak to you and help to move you forward, and that’s okay. In fact, that’s more than okay, that’s great! You might think that that’s a little at odds with everything I’ve just written but what I’m trying to get across is just to approach these sayings and quotes with caution. How do they make you feel and how do they serve you? Please don’t ever feel trapped by them.

Nine Reasons I’ve Fallen Back in Love with Videogaming

The rekindling!

Like many kids, I played videogames and like many adults, I stopped!

My first console was a Super Nintendo and like all self-respecting SNES (Super Nintendo Entertainment System) players I loved Mario, Donkey Kong Jr and Street Fighter. When I grew older, I got my hands on a Playstation 2 so I could play Tomb Raider and I’d also commandeer my dad’s desktop to play his Red Alert war game (I ALWAYS played as the Soviets because of their mighty Tesla coil weapon and cool attack dogs). I used to love peeking inside the gaming magazines in W.H.Smiths so I could try to memorise the cheat codes, and I loved when I managed to convince my parents to buy me a game walkthrough book which meant I could uncover as many hidden bits of gameplay as I could. Nevertheless, despite all that love at some point I just stopped. I don’t remember a trigger, but I think I just started to be of the mind that gaming was for children, and I guess boys.

Roll on about 20 years later and I ended up falling for a guy who has never stopped playing and loving gaming. Now, I must admit I thought him playing videogames would be something that I just looked past or loved him in spite of! But, despite years of societal pressures and ideas surrounding adulthood and productivity, as he played and I looked over his shoulder, I started to get more and more interested and invested in what he was playing! Before I knew it, I was actively enjoying sitting down to watch him play, and dare I say it, backseat gaming! Roll on just 6 months later and I was tentatively asking if I could use his computer to play Jurassic World Evolution. I had the best time building my own dinosaur parks even though I’d have to get him to drive the ranger vehicle because I’d panic and crash into too many things!

We were already in lockdown when I started playing Jurassic World but as the stay-at-home measures continued, I convinced myself that getting my own console, a Nintendo Switch, would be a good investment! …and it was, because two years later, I’m still playing and my childhood love has well and truly been rekindled. Most recently I kidnapped my partners PS4 to play Horizon Zero Dawn and this time he watched me play. Oh, how the tables have turned!

Basically, I’ve fallen back in love with videogames because…

…of the epic storylines

Videogame story content has evolved (from what I remember) into something truly epic. When playing games like Assassins Creed Odyssey, The Witcher 3 – Wild Hunt and Outer Worlds my in-game decisions had a direct impact on how the game would play out and ultimately end (like in those choose your own adventure books). I’d find myself on YouTube looking up alternate endings to see what could have happened if I’d have made different choices. This means that there can be secret outcomes and endings if you know how to play and manipulate the game just right. Dialogue options can also be so intricate that you genuinely feel like you’re developing your character. Maybe it’s just the kind of person I am, but I genuinely feel a bit guilty if I make a ‘bad’ decision or dialogue choice…probably because more often than not I’ve turned my character into an extension of myself! All of this, plus the ‘open world’ style of exploration you’re now able to enjoy and you feel like you’re fully immersed in a whole new world.

…they’re fun!

I mean if you read the above paragraph and didn’t once feel a tiny tickle of ‘that sounds fun’ then honestly, there’s no hope for you! But seriously, playing videogames is just at the very core of it, fun. That sense of exploration and excitement at unlocking a new area or skill or piece of the story is addictive. Just like when you’re reading a book and you’re desperate to turn the page to see what’s around the next corner. But often that excitement of consuming a book is seen as adult and appropriate but consuming a videogame is seen as almost the opposite of that. I’ve certainly been guilty of feeling like I need to always be productive with my time and I definitely grew up consuming the media narrative of videogames = lazy. True enough too much gaming can be detrimental, but we can say that about too much of a lot of things. I think as adults we don’t always feel like we have permission to just play, but why can’t we just have fun for the sake of having fun sometimes.

…they’ve unlocked a new type of humour!

In line with them just being fun I’ve also expanded my sense of humour and joke repertoire! Each videogame brings with it a whole new range of nerdy in-jokes that never fail to bring me joy. Coming out with little quips about side quests or about how your medallion is humming will undoubtedly draw a blank from many folks, but managing to coax a knowing laugh from someone that understands always feels like a little win!

…they can relieve stress.

Especially during the early pandemic when I’d spent too long doom scrolling through twitter, I found that taking half an hour to myself to go fishing, collect butterflies or build a new piece of furniture in Animal Crossing New Horizons made me feel a whole lot calmer. Even just turning on my Nintendo Switch and hearing the music was enough to start squashing those anxious feelings. As the pandemic has limped on, I’ve discovered other games like Stardew Valley and Cozy Grove that have started to give me that same feeling of peace too. There’s something enormously stress relieving about carrying out menial and basic activities in a fantasy world where you cannot be attacked or receive bad news!

…they exercise my creativity.

World building and life simulation games like Animal Crossing New Horizons, Stardew Valley and Jurassic World all involve planning out and to some extent decorating your new world. Having control over where to put your museum, where you want to place your T-rex enclosure or where you want to plant your summer veggies is fun, calming and it encourages you to get creative. Of course you don’t have to be creative to play these games, but it does add another layer…and sometimes quite a major layer! In fact, I recently got hold of the Animal Crossing Paradise Planning expansion where the whole premise of the game is to decorate island holiday homes for cute animal villagers. It’s adorable and that kind of creative fun seeps into my real day to day life.

…I’ve learnt stuff!

I feel like I learn something new in every game that I play, but the best two examples I can think of are Assassins Creed Odyssey and Valiant Hearts: The Great War. Assassins Creed Odyssey is, you guessed it, based in Ancient Greece! You play as a mercenary who generally interferes in stuff; solves crimes, commits crimes (mostly by assassinating folk), kills legendary beasts like the Erymanthian boar, fights in battles between the Athenians and the Spartans (on either side), sinks pirate ships…you get the picture! There’s a whole intricate storyline that runs alongside that involves a lot of complex family drama, but that storyline involves real historical figures. Whilst weaving my way through the Peloponnesian war I got to meet Pericles, Herodotus, Aspasia and Hippocrates to name just a few. Most of these names tickled at my memory but I didn’t really know anything about them. Once I started searching out info about these major historical players and learning about some of the events they were involved in I only got more invested in the game. I mean, to actually have a conversation with Socrates (well, not actually of course) is just ace!

Valiant Hearts is a survival puzzle game where you switch between playing a German soldier, a French prisoner of war, an American volunteer, a Belgian nurse and their fearless canine companion who are just trying to make it through the First World War. The story is of course inspired by history, but also real letters recovered from the period. The game was engaging and touching and because it was based on real events I felt genuinely invested and emotional about the character’s fates. Also, because it was all about the First World War I learnt new things with every twist and turn of a level, with every item I logged or every conversation I had. Like Assassins Creed this encouraged me to go online and pick up the books to learn more.

…they train my brain!

I think all games involve an element of puzzle-craft and just figuring things out, but of course there are games made entirely to push your brain to work in different ways, and ultimately solve puzzles. My favourite two so far have been The Last Campfire and Down in Bermuda. In The Last Campfire you play a lost Ember who searches for a way home whilst helping those who are ‘forlorn’ (essentially other ember type characters who seem to have lost their purpose). It’s thoroughly touching, rewarding and challenging guiding Ember through all of the puzzles. In Down in Bermuda you play as an aviator called Milton who has found himself trapped in a time warp filled with puzzles. Like Ember, Milton just wants to find a way home. To help Milton go home you of course have to solve a great number of codes and puzzles and collect orbs and keys as you go. I thought it was an effortlessly cool game that definitely challenged those little grey cells!

…they’ve improved my hand-eye coordination.

When I was trying to figure out whether it was worth buying a console of my own, I played a tiny bit of The Witcher 3 – Wild Hunt on my partner’s Nintendo Switch. I enjoyed it (enough to buy my own) but I was terrible! There were too many buttons that did too many things and I struggled to face the camera in the direction I was going, I kept falling off stuff or running into things. It was a mess! Roll on the first RPG (Role-Playing Game) I bought for myself, Outer Worlds and it was a real learning curve! I struggled for quite a while, with my long-suffering partner pleading for me to face the way I was going or patiently teaching me how to lock on to an enemy, defend myself or be sneaky rather than just going full berserker in every situation. A couple of RPG’s later and I can hold my own. Do I still fall off stuff occasionally? Yes! Do I still get a bit frustrated with the number of buttons and different functionalities? Yes! But, with each game I improve in leaps and bounds.

…they’re something I can enjoy co-operatively.

I’m actually not that into playing games with other folk, but it is of course a big gaming plus for many. There are however a couple of games that I’ve really enjoyed playing with my partner: Overcooked 2 and Unravel 2. In short, in Overcooked, you have to work with your team to prepare, cook and serve the meals that are ordered. Of course, there are usually extra challenges thrown in, like every few seconds the lights go out or you have to jump between two moving trucks to get to different parts of the kitchen or the kitchen is icy, so you slide everywhere. It’s a simple premise, but it’s fun and sometimes frantic figuring things out with the people playing with you. It was actually one of the things in mine and my partners early relationship that made me realise he was a keeper…I thought if we could play something so chaotic and not get annoyed with each other it was a good sign! Since Overcooked, we’ve also played Unravel 2. In Unravel 2 you play a pair of demonic looking creatures made of yarn. They were both lost at sea and disconnected from their owners so decide to attach themselves to one another by a loose thread of yarn. Basically, you have to use that yarn attachment to swing and pull each other through a puzzling world of danger. Figuring things out together is without doubt a cute little bonding experience!

So, there you have it, nine reasons I’ve fallen back in love with videogaming after decades of feeling like they were no longer for me! What’s your experience with games? Have you ever played, have you always played, or did you ‘grow out’ of them? Let me know.

How I Prepare for a New Year

Like lots of people, every year I like to spend some time reflecting on the year just gone and figuring out my intentions for the year ahead. When I say intentions, I don’t really do hard and fixed goals or resolutions, but I like to think about how I would like my year to look and what kind of things I want to focus on. Maybe it doesn’t sound much different, but I think it’s softer and gentler and leaves room for change and growth. Sometimes I already have my intentions for the new year done and dusted in December and sometimes, like this year, I need to take some time in January too.

So, every new year I do three things to bring in a new focus.

1. I Make a List of 100 Things I Would Like to do

Now 100 things might sound like a lot, and it is! But, hear me out… Those 100 things aren’t all big goals like ‘run a marathon’, ‘write a book’ or ‘learn a new language’! A lot of them are seemingly basic things like ‘stroke a cat’, ‘watch a sunset’ or ‘bake a cake’. When I started my first list of 100 things it was after a year where I realised I couldn’t remember watching a sunset, as in really sitting to enjoy it rather than just noticing it out of the window. I also couldn’t recall stopping to stroke a cat and I definitely hadn’t taken the time to bake a cake. I thought what kind of year is it if I haven’t literally and figuratively given myself the time and space to ‘stop and smell the roses’?!

Every year I learn from my list of 100 things and it evolves. The first year I definitely aimed too high and made too many big goals that were ultimately unachievable, the second year I added too many fitness goals (which was a serious oversight for someone with chronic fatigue), the third year (2020) I added too many travel goals because I clearly had too much faith that COVID would end quickly, and the fourth year I added too many goals that cost me too much money. I try not to think of these 100 things too strictly though, it’s a guide, a way to keep focus, not a way to beat myself up with any perceived failure that I haven’t achieved certain targets or goals. This year I’m leaving myself some wiggle room because in the latter half of last year I came up with things that I wanted to add in, whilst there were some that I wanted to remove. So, if anyone counts my list and sees that there aren’t 100 things this year it’s because I’m letting it be a bit more organic! (Also, I’m going to keep a few things to myself!)

2. I Choose Three Words

To choose my three words I used to use a set of cards with word prompts on them to help me, but I can’t find where I got them from (somewhere free and online) and I have no idea where the original .pdf is saved on my laptop! But, it doesn’t really matter because you can obviously choose your own words without prompts…and that’s what I did this year as I already had something in mind. After these particular words or themes came up a lot after I had therapy last year I chose ‘Wild’, ‘Free’ and ‘Heart’. Normally I just write them somewhere prominent in my diary or sometimes in the form of an affirmation to stick on my bathroom mirror, but this year I made a little poster/screen saver. These words have meaning to me and I use them as a kind of anchor to keep me grounded in a core set of values that I want to carry through the year.

3. I Make a Mood Board

I love a good mood board and I make them semi-regularly to help me get my thoughts in order and visualised. Sometimes I have a very specific set of goals or ideas I want to represent and then sometimes I just pop different search terms into Pinterest and browse until I find a pin that elicits some meaning for me. That’s how I made my mood board this time. I now use this mood board as my laptop background and screen saver and each time I see it I get a spark of recognition of how I would like my year to look. A bit like my three words the mood board works to anchor me to my goals and my focus so I don’t get too distracted by societal pressures, external influences or expectations. It’s also just fun and aesthetically pleasing to make!

So, that’s a rundown of these are three of the main things that I do to try and get into the right headspace to tackle the new year. But, of course, any or all of these things can be done at any time of the year. Do you do anything to prepare yourself for the year ahead or fancy trying out any of these? Let me know in the comments.

Five of my favourite things from my first trip to Tuscany

(…aside from meeting my partner’s family of course!!)

Always a good thing to have a local help you plan your trips

I recently came back from my first trip to Tuscany. The eight days I spent there were jam packed with sightseeing and family time, and if I’m honest, it was such a whirlwind I think I’m still processing it! I’ll catch sight of one of my polaroid’s, skip past an Instagram photo or put on my facemask that somehow still smells of Italy (yes, I have washed it!) and I instantly get the warm and fuzzies. I’m already looking forward to going back. With so much happening it was difficult to know quite what to write about, but I’ve settled on five of my favourite things from this first trip.

Michelangelo’s David and Prisoners

Michelangelo’s David must be one of the most famous statues in the world. It seems to be one of those places that’s high on a tourist’s tick list even if the renaissance isn’t their jam. When you walk into the Accademia gallery, Michelangelo’s David stands at the end of the hall almost dominating the space. It’s easy to rush straight over to him, ignoring everything else in the room to marvel. It is really worth holding back a moment to admire Michelangelo’s Prisoners on the way though. The Prisoners are unfinished and have been named ‘The Bearded Slave’, ‘The Atlas’, ‘The Young Slave’ and ‘The Awakening Slave’ by scholars. As they’re not finished the Slaves or Prisoners appear to be trapped in the marble, trying to fight there way into existence. They are incredibly evocative and like all ‘good art’ they inspire conversation. Rather than inspiring conversation David himself is so astonishing he left me speechless. I’m often disappointed by what I see as overly popularised attractions, but David in no way disappointed. Even down to the veins in his hands he is just perfect…which is somewhat surprising considering Michelangelo created him from discarded marble. One man’s trash really is another man’s treasure!

Rapolano terme

I had a sneaky suspicion we’d be going somewhere ‘spa-like’ when we were in Italy as I’d been told about the hot spring area of Tuscany and my partner told me to bring my swimsuit with me! What I didn’t expect was two nights in a lovely spa hotel, with two treatments and breakfast and dinner included. We stayed at the 2 Mari hotel (two seas hotel) in Rapolano Terme where we had a hammam treatment and a 30-minute massage with honey infused oils. We also had two sessions in the saltwater pool and spent ample time amongst the hot tubs and saunas. I also took one quick dip in the frigidarium (cold water pool) too, but once was enough! When I say we had two sessions in the saltwater pool, I don’t just mean we floated about in saltwater for a while…2 Mari have three hydrojet massage stations within the pool that pummel you for about ten minutes each. Each station targets different areas and each station feels SO good in it’s own unique way. I cannot fully express how relaxed I was after each session. It only took 30 minutes and I was practically floating out of the pool and onto my next treatment. Both the hammam and oil massage were equally pampering. I haven’t felt my muscles loosen so much for a long time. I spent many moments whilst we were there wondering if we could find a spa back in Aberdeenshire that would fill in for us before we can return.

Gunè

After Rapolano Terme I didn’t expect anymore big treats, but my partner had plans to take me to Gunè. I’d heard this name being thrown around and his family talked about it as if it was kinda special, but we’d been to lots of nice places and eaten lots of great food already, so I didn’t really think much of it! Gunè however is not a normal restaurant, it’s fancy! When we arrived and I had my first peek inside, I had this sudden sinking feeling of ‘I have severely underestimated this’, ‘I do not belong here’. But within minutes of a warm welcome those feelings were gone and I realised that Gunè was fancy but definitely not snooty. We started our meal with a series of surprise ‘welcomes’, like little amuse bouches and an elaborate bread box. Then for the starter which was romantically called ‘the departure’ I chose nigiri maki from Podolica and my partner had tongue peposo. This was followed by the ‘first discovery’ (or primo / 1^st main) which saw us both having ravioli with a Tuscan-Lucanian soul. The ravioli had bardiccio and pezzente sausage with milk foam and Casentino ham powder. That was without doubt our favourite savoury part of the meal and when I think about it or look at the picture I took of it I can genuinely still taste it. My taste buds do not want to let go of that memory! You can also have a ‘second discovery’ but I jumped straight into dessert (my partner, Mattia, went for another cocktail). As we both work on honeybees I couldn’t resist the semifreddo pudding with honey in it. I can’t find it on the Gunè website and I can’t remember what it was called or what exactly was in it but whatever its name it entered the pudding hall of fame for me! The honey flavour was so strong, but it was balanced by the creaminess of the semifreddo. There was also some sort of light cream or milk poured on top with green tea ‘crumbles’. It just all worked so well. On top of this, we also had a ‘goodbye’ or a ‘departure’ a bit like the ‘welcome’ which was a series of tiny desserts! Each one of them was outstanding in it’s own unique way. (My mouth has been watering the whole time I’ve been writing this!) I also had a different wine with each course, which I let them choose for me and Mattia had a couple of cocktails tailor made to his tastes. I have practically zero experience of restaurants like this so I have little to compare it to, but I honestly had the best time and I think it will go down as one of my favourite memories…and meals!

I focused more on eating the food than taking good photos, but you get the idea!

Vie cave and tombs

Whilst we were staying in Rapolano Terme we had a day trip to see Tomba Ildebranda This is the main attraction of a series of tombs and Etruscan roadways which form part of the parco archeologico known as ‘Città del Tufo’. What we had failed to consider however was that we were visiting in the middle of the week during ‘off-season’, so when we got there we were greeted by big gates and a bigger closed sign! Luckily for us though, there is part of the park that is non ticketed and open all the time. Tomba della Sirena (the tomb of the siren) and the San Sebastian vie cave are on the opposite side of the site. Although they aren’t part of the ticketed park this doesn’t mean that it isn’t a spectacular area. As we went at such a quiet time it also meant that we spent several hours exploring the area completely on our own, which definitely made it more atmospheric. I didn’t take a picture of the English sign for Tomba della Sirena and I’m struggling to find basic information about it online in English (I can’t speak Italian…yet) but I have enclosed a picture. What I can tell you is that there are a series of tombs, one of which (shown below) is very ornately decorated. The others are simpler, but I’m sure no less full of significance and there’s even a tomb that you can shimmy into. There are also a series of vie cave. These are pathways which were hand carved out of the soft tufa (tuff) rock. They are around 20 metres deep, about 3 metres wide and 500 metres in length. As they lead to necropoli it is thought that the Etruscans carved these pathways to allow them access to sacred sites, or perhaps the pathways were also sacred themselves. As they form a cold subzone the pathways are also full of ferns, lichens, mosses and liverworts which is super cool. It feels like you’re stepping into another world. I guess considering the Etruscans existed between the 8^th and 3^rd century BC and started building the vie cave around the 3^rd century I guess it was another world back then!

Discovering Clet

Clet Abraham is a French street artist living and working in Florence. Among other things he takes traffic signage and playfully alters them using customised stickers. It’s really fun wandering around the city spotting Clet’s work. There’s already a lot to look at and admire around the streets of Florence but the chance of spotting another Clet had me paying even more attention to my surroundings and looking in different places. The contrast between renaissance Florence and Clet’s urban street art just did something for me. If you want to find out a little more then I really liked this short article by The Guardian.

So, I’ve called these my top 5, but honestly, I could have picked so many moments from my trip. From eating schiacciata in the Santissima Annunziata, discovering medieval walled towns like Pitigliano, Certaldo and San Gimignano or gazing out over Florence from Piazzale Michelangelo. I can’t wait to go back and make more memories.

The three best stone circles in Aberdeenshire…

…in my limited opinion!

I’ve been to at least nine of the recumbent stone circles in Aberdeenshire and for me there are definitely three stand out favourites. These might not be the ‘cleanest’ examples of recumbent circles but they’re all circles that feel special to me.

Just so we’re all on the same page, a recumbent stone circle has a large stone lying on it’s side (the recumbent) which has two large standing stones either side of it (the flankers or flanking stones). Smaller stones radiate out from the recumbent and the flankers to form a circle. Recumbent stone circles are unique to Aberdeenshire in Scotland, and Cork and Kerry in the South-West of Ireland. There are thought to be about 70 recumbent stone circles in Aberdeenshire so I have a fair few more to visit! It’s not really known why they exist, but it has been hypothesised that they were part of rituals related to the moon. To be fair they were constructed in the Neolithic / bronze age period around 4500 years ago when written history wasn’t really a big thing!

So, in no particular order, my favourite stone circles…so far!

Binghill

I feel like this wouldn’t be on many people’s top three, but for me it was all about the journey and the atmosphere. There aren’t really any published directions or signs to Binghill stone circle and as we didn’t know which way to come from or where to park, we obviously picked the most difficult route! We ended up asking a really lovely chap who was busy renovating a Victorian house, he told us all about the trees in the area, the history and of course he told us which way to go to get to the circle. Even armed with that information it was a bit of a scramble to get there. We went in the middle of Autumn so when we arrived the remaining stones were cushioned in red and orange leaf litter. It was unbelievably pretty. This is only a very small recumbent stone circle, about 11m in diameter. It’s thought that there were once ten stones, but only seven remain. Four, including the flankers, have fallen and several are no longer in their original place. It’s a bit of a mess, but maybe because of the disruption, Binghill is the perfect place to sit and think about just how much time has passed since the stones were originally placed and try to get your head around how much has happened since. If you want to see a clean and classic example of a recumbent stone circle then this is not it, but if you want somewhere to contemplate your own existence then I cannot recommend Binghill stone circle enough!

I’ve actually written about Binghill in another blog about all the castles and megalithic sites between Aberdeen and Balmoral. If you’re interested you’ll find that blog here.

Loanhead of Daviot

This stone circle has so much going on and that’s why I love it. Firstly, there’s a large recumbent stone circle spanning about 20 metres. The recumbent stone has actually been split into two through freeze / thawing action, which is just remarkable, and there are eight standing stones as well as two large flankers. Those eight stones are graded in height and a couple of them have cup-marks on their surfaces, which are a little tricky to locate at first. What were these for and did this mean that those stones were once lying flat and used for something else? Who knows?! In the centre of the circle is a cairn, which makes this circle really special. Beneath this cairn, charcoal, pottery, human bone fragments (both child and adult), flints and traces of burning have been found. All of this suggests that the circle was used a long time after it’s original purpose faded into pre-history.

Secondly, directly next to this large recumbent circle is another circular structure which marks the remains of a stone enclosure with two entrances. This marks a bronze age cremation cemetery. An excavation in the 1930s revealed the remains of a 40 year old bronze age man and it was considered unusual that he was left there intact whilst other bodies were burned in the same area. It’s thought that the recumbent circle was an area used by a large community for many years, but that the smaller bronze age area was used by one or a few families over a much shorter period of time. Whatever brought later peoples to the area, they clearly venerated the circle and that to me is so exciting and kind of magical.

Loudon Wood

Loudon wood circle, also known as Pitfour stone circle, is a little bit illusive…or at least sounds like it should be from it’s google reviews. We actually found it very easily with the help of a map and some instructions from http://leshamilton.co.uk/megaliths/loudenwood.htm. Even though we took a fairly direct route to it, it still involved veering off the obvious paths and into the dark, tightly packed conifers to make our way slowly to the clearing that holds the stone circle. It was a windy day, full of creaking trees and chirruping birds, but as soon as we reached the circle everything seemed to fall silent. I guess that’s hardly surprising, but there was a peace to the area that made it feel kind of enchanted. The circle isn’t complete, but there’s a large recumbent stone lying between two flankers (one of which is no longer standing) and four other stones that make up a large circle about 18m in diameter. According to Canmore it is estimated that it probably took around 40 adults to move the recumbent into place. It might not be well looked after, complete or easy for everyone to find, but this circle undoubtedly has atmosphere. I didn’t want to leave.

So, these are my favourites based on feelings and emotion, but if you’re looking for a nice, clean, classic example of a recumbent stone circle then I would suggest either Tomnaverie or East Aquhorthies. …happy megalith hunting!

Bored of working in the office?

(I actually wrote this back in 2019 for a university blog that fell through…but now I’m back in the office and therefore back working in cafes I thought why not publish this finally on my own blog!)

I don’t know about you but I appreciate a change of scenery and find it difficult to sit and work in the same place for hours or days on end. I get fidgety, I start to worry that I’m bothering my colleagues, I get distracted and then I just start wasting time. As such, I’ve already sussed out a handful of cafes around Aberdeen that I love to work in. Sometimes I just go to one before or after some office time, sometimes I spend the whole day away and take myself on a little café circuit. Strangely that almost feels like a little holiday. I’m a great believer in the saying ‘a change is as good as a rest’.

Short disclaimer – obviously check with your supervisor that it’s okay for you to go AWOL for a day. Open and honest communication between you and your supervisors is key but every supervisory relationship is different.

My first café stop is the Union Café and bistro on the corner of Union Street and Shiprow. From mine I can walk past two of my favourite sculptures in Aberdeen to get there. The giant cat perched up above the restaurants opposite the Marischal College and the Nuart piece of the little men perched near or on balcony’s on the side of The Illicit Still. Once at the Union Café I like to sit on the high chairs by the window so that I can people watch in between working. I’ve only had coffee and cake there before but they have an extensive range of cakes, some of which are more inventive flavours than those you’d normally find. I had a great piece of rose and pistachio cake in there once.

When I’m ready to stretch my legs or go for another coffee/snack I potter down to Contour Café in The Green. This is really close to the harbour so if I’m in need of a little fresh air and a walk I go and have a look at the ships. I appreciate that this isn’t every ones cup of tea but I briefly worked in the merchant navy on a standby vessel and some of that interest still lingers. There is actually a ship tracking app which lets you know which vessels are in harbour so that you can go and visit any favourite ships. Some of them have pretty cool patterns painted on their bows or interesting names and you start to learn who the regulars are. It’s pretty much train spotting but with ships. Don’t judge me! So, once I’ve appropriately nerded out in the harbour I grab any seat I can in Contour Café. There are some quite big tables in there to spread out on and they’d work pretty well for a group meeting. This place has THE best vegan sausage baps with ketchup. I don’t know if it’s the fresh bread or the sausages or the love that they’re made with but they’re just so good. I’ve tried lots of other things in there and they’re all nice but I always come back to the vegan sausage bap. They also do 10% student discount (or at least they did when I wrote this in 2019!).

After leaving Contour and on my way to Food Story I’m greeted by my favourite door in the Painted Doors Project. I heard two American tourists describe it as disturbing once, but to me, a doughnut worshipper, there is nothing better than two glazed parent doughnuts cradling a baby doughnut. Food Story is on Thistle street just off Union Street. The walk between the two is perfect for me to pop into any shops that I’d rather avoid on a weekend. Food story has great food, great coffee and a great atmosphere but one of the reasons it stands out for me is it’s bulk shop upstairs and it’s all round efforts towards sustainability. The store upstairs sells bulk grains, spices, beans, pasta (including gluten free), cereals, dried fruit and although I’m not sure if they do it at the moment I’ve got both olive oil and balsamic vinegar in there too. The staff are really relaxed, helpful and friendly so they’re more than happy to help you figure out the weighing system and answer any questions on how to move towards a more sustainable lifestyle. In case you’re a die-hard carnivore that can’t contemplate a single meal without the addition of something meaty you unfortunately (for you) won’t find that here, there is some dairy though. I think it’s probably also the most child and dog friendly of the places that I go to but seen as I have neither one of those it’s a little hard for me to judge properly.

After I’ve worked in Food Story and decided that it’s time to move on I pop over to Cup on Gaelic Lane off Belmont Street. Cup splits opinion a little in that many of my friends feel that it’s too busy in there to work…I guess maybe you have to time it well. I like the background noise though and the hustle of general activity. Just down the street from Cup there’s also a really great shop nearby called MacBeans that sells loose leaf teas and coffee beans. Treating myself to a nice new coffee that I can share with my colleagues (we’re all coffee fiends) is normally enough to lure me back up to the zoology department!

It’s probably worth noting that I never really use wifi when I’m working in a café so I have absolutely no idea of the wifi capabilities or speeds in any of these places. I just come armed with a pile of papers and make sure the things I want to work on are downloaded and offline. It probably doesn’t need to be said but I obviously buy something in every place I work in and try not to overstay my welcome, but I’ve never felt in any of these places that me working away was bothering anyone.

For a bonus ‘out of the office’ working location I love Brewdog on Gallowgate for the early evening. They make incredible pizzas and although I don’t suggest it’s a good work/life balance ethic to work into the evening I have enjoyed dinner and a bit of reading or writing in there on occasion. They have really big windows for people-watching and the window tables leave you feeling a little cosy and tucked away. There are always dogs in Brewdog too and that’s great for the morale, right?!

Family Worth – Part 3

The Potters

Taken from – http://www.thepotteries.org/potworks_wk/027.htm

In previous blogs I’ve written about my grandmother’s mother’s side (the nailers) and my grandmother’s father’s side (the miners) and this time we’re staying with my grandmother’s mother’s side but we’re going down a slightly different line…the potters. I hope you’re still with me after that sentence!

So, the father of my great grandmother, Dorothy Amy (from my previous blogs) was James Bradshaw. James was born in 1862 and is most regularly listed in the records as a potter/thrower. Although in his younger years he is listed as a bottle thrower and for a brief period in 1909 he’s listed as a labourer. However, like many men he joined the First World War efforts and he went off with the Royal Hussars. I’m not quite sure how long he spent with them but unfortunately I do know that he died with them in 1916 fighting in Mesopotamia. In general it sounds like the Royal Hussars had a particularly terrible time frequently suffering from starvation, dehydration and sickness (fever, jaundice or dysentery). Understandably morale was also pretty low. On the 5^th April 1916 there was an attack on Hanna in Mesopotamia where the starving 14^th Hussars surrendered. It was considered one of the low points in British and Indian military history. I’m pretty sure that this is the incident in which my great great grandfather died because his death is recorded as the being the 6^th April 1916.

James’s father was John Bradshaw, he was born and died in Belper, and he lived as a potter. John was first listed as working as a ‘potter labourer’ in 1841 at just 14 years old. Conditions were generally rather poor for potters, including (and probably especially for) child labourers. In 1840 many of the workers were under 15 years old and these children spent around 72 hours a week working, meaning that they were poorly educated and exhausted. If they were late to work because they overslept they were often beaten. Its also worth noting that at the time wages were paid in the local pub, meaning that men were encouraged to spend their wages immediately. Their wives often stood outside begging them just to pick up their wages and leave, but instead went home with a drunk husband and little money to get them through the week. Poverty and the desperation to stay out of the workhouse drove potters to keep turning up to work, despite the conditions and long hours of labour. I’ve obviously got no idea if John’s wife, Ellen, was one of the wives waiting outside the pub. What I do know is that at 12 years old she was working with cotton hosiery and then at 22 she was a ‘getter up of hosiery’. I don’t really know what that means! The only thing I can think of was that there was a ‘knocker up’ during the Industrial revolution who woke people up ready for work. Was a ‘getter up’ the same thing? At 23 she got married to John and then was never listed as working again. She outlived her husband though and lived on her own (with her mother who was also widowed) and received relief from the parish, which I don’t imagine was very much.

Taken from – Industrial pottery from https://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/history/pottry-industrial-children-work-staffordshire-3708768

John’s father James was also listed as a potter throughout his life, and his father Moses was also a potter or ‘bottle turner’ in the Derbyshire area. Their wives are never listed as having jobs and the trail runs cold for additional information beyond birth and death dates from them. I couldn’t find out much about what life was like as a potter in 1780 (not from a google anyway), but I don’t imagine it was any better than in the industrial revolution.

The furthest back I’ve gone on this particular line is 1484, with my 15^th Great Grandfather, Roger Fretwell, which is crazy! It’s the furthest back I’ve gone so far. Just to give you a little idea of what the world might have been like, in 1484 Richard the 3rd was on the throne of England (England had not yet united with Scotland, Wales or Ireland (North or South)…although Richard the 3^rd did agree a 3 year truce with Scotland this year). This is the one and only Richard the 3^rd that died at the Battle of Bosworth effectively ending the Wars of the Roses and the Middle Ages in one foul swoop, the same man who inspired a play by William Shakespeare and the same man whose body was found under a carpark in Leicestershire. In 1484 the Wars of the Roses was still ongoing, but the folk of England only had a few years left to endure of that particular set of battles. They had to endure it alongside other horrors like the sweating sickness though. The sweating sickness was a series of epidemics in the UK and Europe that popped up in rural areas killing folk in a matter of hours after the onset of symptoms. Medical historians still don’t know what caused it but it could have been a rogue hantavirus. Delightful. Outside of the UK the pope deputised a couple of chaps to go and hunt out witches in Germany, a Portuguese chap found the mouth of the Congo (which was very unfortunate for the people residing in that area) and on a lighter note Aesop’s fables were translated into English.

So, all in all, probably a rather challenging time to be alive! I’m not sure what was better, nailer, miner or potter? I’m sure they were all difficult. I’m already intrigued what I’ll find next, and although it’s a goal of mine to ‘finish’ my grandmothers line this year I’m looking forward to finding out if my grandad came from a similar group of people.